Uhoh  What now?
by Shadowed Chaos
Summary: Set after the movie  with MAJOR skewing up of events in our world  try shifting history back a about three decades. Ed finds himself confronted with a very surprising change that the gate just dumped on his doorstep. Edvy, Mpregish, AU.


Ah! I live! Yes, the one who brought you _Reason_ is still alive. I've just been bogged down with other stuff. Anyways, hers chapter one of a story that was spawn out of a role play that I did a while back.

Anyways, this is written for my friend – who know who are – to help explain something.

**Disclaimer**: I'm not sticking rich and I don't own FMA. If I did, Roy would be Uke, Archer wouldn't have died, Kimblee and Greed would be item [greed as the Seme, Riza would be dating Havoc and Ed and Envy would having wild sex ever second episode. Now, as that's not happening, I don't own FMA. So please, don't sue me?

Rating: M for latter stuff, such as not to graphic sex. And rated for an emotional Envy. That, and Gender-bending. If that doesn't suit your tastes, please don't read and then flame me. You have been warned.

Now, on to the fic and please, enjoy.

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The homunculus Envy was most very surprised to see that he had been put right back in Germany, his body only slightly altered (or at least the Gate told him that). Envy looked around for a moment around the empty museum and then slowly began to walk, heading to the only person that he knew of in Germany... While he walked to Edward's current home, he went over a few of the possible ways to introduce himself and possibly persuade the other male to let him stay with him. "Hey Ed, I may be pregnant with your kid?"

"Well, THAT sounds ridiculous..." Envy mumbled to himself. He sighed and picked up his pace when he saw the small apartment that he was told Edward was currently living in. The homunculus slowly entered the place and took to the stairs, walking until he reached the other's 'front' door... Raising one hand, he rapped his knuckles against it. "This is foolish..." He mumbled... He was so scared that he had ducked behind a plant in front of the door.

Edward was currently sitting at his table, reading paper, mumbling in German. He'd come here to find what ever it was, then realized that he needed money to do so.

" well... time to head out and pick up some food... god Father was right.. the prices are horndious.." he mummbled, standing uop and gettig his things to go do some grocy shopping at the local market. he exited then locked the door, checking it was locked, then headed of. thank god he had a job though or hed soon starve with the inflation rate.

Envy watched silently as Edward exited his apartment. The homunculus stood up as Edward began to walk down the stairs and slowly started to follow him.

"E-Ed..." He called quietly, beginning to descend down the stairs after Ed.

"Mmm?" he murmured, turning around a bit to glance at who had called his name.

Envy stood at the top of the stairs, wearing something that looked like it came from a German retail shop. The clothes were long and big on him, the shirt practically reached his knees and the pants were so big that they flopped uselessly as he walked.

"..." he blinked then shrugged, then blinked again, and stared, then his glaze narrowed." ... I thought you were sent to the Gate."

"I was... but I managed to come back..." Envy whispered from his spot at the top of the stairs, looking off to the side though. "... But... at a heavy price..."

Ed said nothing, just eyed the Sin suspiciously. He didn't trust Envy at all. After all, hadn't he stabbed out his heart, and tormented the boy on the otherside of the gate, back in their world. "..." he turned away and then sighed. "... I don't trust, nor believe you... "

Envy frowned and stepped down a few stairs, gently settling an oddly warm hand on the other's shoulder, trying to get him to turn around. "Do... you want me to make you believe?"

"Your hands warm..." he frowned then batted it off. "Why?"

"As a price... The Gate took away my immortality, regeneration, and transformation skills." Envy said quietly, letting his hand drop to his side. "That was the price to become human. But, in order to send me here... it also gave me another little 'surprise'."

"Into my flat. " He hissed, grabbing the others wrists roughly and unlocking his door, then pulling him inside and pushing in into a seat. Envy obeyed and sat in the chair that Ed pushed him into. He stared up at the other with dulled violet eyes before looking back away, down to the ground. "..."

Ed ran his hands through his hair, uncertain of what to do. He knew that he just enough money to get out of Germany and into Britain and get set up, but now he had another problem to deal with: Envy. And if what he said was true, he couldn't transform at all. He was human.

Envy stared up at Edward for a moment before he looked down to his clothing. "Edward...?" The human said softly, looking up at the golden eyed boy. "Look." Envy reached to his clothes and slowly yanked off his huge shirt, revealing that there was a large swell in his lower stomach.

Oh. Shit. Eds' eyes widened then bugged out. "We have to get you out of here and into Britain." he said simply. He knew what would happen if this got out. Envy would be taken to be experimented on, unborn child or not. "Right now, it can be passed of as a potbelly... but if that's what the gate did... then it wont be for long..."

Envy nodded and looked down as he slowly tugged the shirt back over his swollen stomach. It was so embarrassing, just having a stomach large enough that he had to cover it up with a large t-shirt. "Ed..." Envy said quietly, rubbing at his belly over the shirt. "This is YOUR child."

Ed stared, and then blinked. Then stared some more. "...the Gate... did this... to you?" this was NOT happening to him. He'd just got over breaking up with Noa as well. "... This... it has to be a dream..."

Envy huffed up a bit and crossed his arms heavily over his chest, glaring at Edward with violent eyes. "If you don't want to help me or your child, then just say so! Don't just... just..." Envy began to wail loudly, curling himself up on the chair.

"Hey! I never said I wouldnt help! " he huffled, looking offened.

Envy just cried harder, pushing his face into his hands. "I didn't ask for this!" He cried loudly.

"Yea... the gate... it does stupid things.. " Ed said, wrapping his arm awakwardly around Envy. This was so werid.

Envy looked up and stared at Edward for a moment with watery eyes before wailing out loudly and wrapping both arms around him. "It's not what I ever wanted!" The pregnant boy cried, unable to control his emotions.

"Shushhh... shuhh... " oh gods... Ed could curse the gate to a billion deaths for this. But he couldnt. He had to get Envy out of Germany now. And do it soon. "Shhh... I'll get you out of here... but I'm going to need your help." he said, a plan forming in his head. Train, he'd go by train up to Poland, then take a boat from there to England or Irleand.

Envy whimpered and nodded a little bit, listening to Edward. He pulled away from the other male, wiping away at his tears angrily. "I'm sorry..." He said in annoyance, looking to the ground. "I can't control my emotions any more..." He mumbled, staring at the ground.

"It's ok.. I just need you to for a little while longer." He soothed, his mind flying fast. He was still a genuis, but he was having a hard time thinking.

Envy whimpered once more but nodded and hugged his knees to his chest... Or at least he did hug them to the extent where they were gently pushing against his baby bump.

Ed sighed and stood up, running a hand though his hair. This was complitcated. He couldn't pass Envy off as a girl - he didnt have brests and the Sin could no longer shape shift. Shit. This was bad. He had to get the now human Envy out of ermany, soon. And fast.

Envy stared up at Edward with a raised brow, watching and waiting for instructions from him. The pregnant male glanced down to the ground for a moment again and then looked back up, mouth parted as if he were about to speak... but then he looked back down.

"Shit shit shit... maps... I need maps.. The fastest way out of Germany.." Ed muttered, pulling out books and other things, eyes flicking over the pages.

Envy slowly stood up off of the chair and walked over to Edward, watching as the boy went through the books. "Ed... I... have something to ask you..." Envy said quietly, wringing his hands nervously together.

"Mmm" Ed paused and looked up at the sin with a curious eyes. "Yes Envy?"

Envy felt an abnormal amount of heat cross his cheeks and he looked down, averting their eyes from one another. "...I... it's just that... Um..."

"You what?" He asked, tilting the others head up to looking into his eyes. Ed was starting to be glad that he wasn't so short any more.

Envy stared silently at Ed. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered how Ed had managed to surpass his own height. "... You... You're tall."

"I get from father." he shrugged, a small smirk on his face. "Now... you wanted to tell me something?" he asked softly, kindly

Envy blushed even more and then closed his eyes, thinking his question over in his mind for a moment before he asked it. "Do... Do you hate me?"

"..." Ed blinked, the first word that came to his mind was Yes. yes I hate you for everything that you did to me. But then he stopped, and thought it over.. and the answer was still yes. "Does it matter? The Gate's forced this on you, and I'm not going to see you experimented on, and get yourself killed, or the child your carrying. While you're here... You're with me and you're to do what I tell you, is that clear? One screw up, and it's of to the labs.. or worse.. we'll be rounded up like cattle and sent somewhere, Hitler's in power now, and he's not a kind tyrant."

Envy blinked and backed away from the other, staring at the ground in complete silence now. He held his hands tightly at his sides but slowly brought them up so that he was hugging himself. He stared sideways at the ground, not baring to bring himself to look at Edward. He knew that the answer would've been 'yes' no matter how many times Envy asked it. And oddly enough, this made Envy ache and become irate. But he wouldn't say anything about it... No, this pregnancy was the only thing holding them together.

"Come on... I got to find a way to get us out of here before you start to show and can't pass it off as a pot belly anymore." Ed said, going back to his maps, though he kept one eye on Envy. He didn't trust the other at all, and if it wasn't for the fact that the gate had done this, he would have kicked Envy out onto the streets already.

Envy didn't say anything else after that, he merely just watched Edward look for some sort of way to get out of Germany as fast as possible. Envy wouldn't know that type of stuff anyways, so he hung back and just watched Edward. The male briefly looked over to the side before crossing the room to look out a window. "Hey... Ed...?" Envy said slowly, watching some strange thing in the sky.

"Yea?" he asked, looking up at Envy.

"What's that thing?" Envy asked, pointing to the thing in the air and looking back to Ed. "And what's that horrendous noise? It's worse than when those airplanes attacked me."

Ed blinked and looked up to where Envy was pointing. "Just a zeppelin, just ignore it. It's one of Hillers."

"Zeppelin." Envy repeated, staring at the thing in the sky, seemingly amazed. He had honestly never seen anything like it, except for the airplanes that attacked him, of course.

Ed just went back to his maps then nodded. "To the Netherlands it is. Then to London, where the Allies are." he decided, the train fare would cost a lot, but he'd have money left over for the boat trip though.

"London..." Envy repeated, looking back to Edward before walking to him. "Allies...?" He repeated as well, cocking his head to the side in confusion. He had never heard of either of those places.

"Mmm... it's a city.. Don't worry.. The Allies are the good guys. I have contacts there." Ed explained, though not really, he'd give the sin just enough to shut him up, but keep him wondering.

"Oh... okay..." Envy mumbled, walking back to Ed just so he could watch the other male. Envy really had no clue as to what was going on recently... He just knew that they were going to London.

Ed was looking at maps, nodding and tracing his fingers over lines, then tapping them, hissing softly as he worked things out.

"Can... I help with anything...?" Envy offered as he watched the former alchemist. He knew that there wasn't much he could do to help, but he had to at least offer the help to Ed.

"Ok. Need to pack now." he said, standing up again, his hair spilling over his shoulders. He'd forgotten to bind it into a ponytail. " yea... can you go into the kitchen - and put all the tins onto the counter for me?"

"Tins...?" Envy repeated then nodded a little bit, turning to head to the kitchen so he could do what Ed said. He searched through the drawers, pulling out all the tins he could find and placing them on the counter.

Ed mean while was shoving clothing to suitcase, just one. The other was for the tined food, then he went into the kitchen, and put the case on the bench. "Pack them in here." he said, shifting to the fridge and starting to chuck out the off food, making a face at the stink.

Envy began to carefully pack the tins into the suitcase that Ed put onto the counter, positioning them just right so that every single jar was packed in it tightly. Now it would also prevent any noise.

"Smart thinking." He said then made a grossed out noise at the bread he was holding. "ugg..." he threw the moldy stuff into the bin.

Envy watched Edward curiously as he shut the suitcase and clasped it shut. "Is there anything else I can do...?" Envy asked as his eyes followed every movement of the other.

"Not at the moment" he said, and it was true.

Envy shrugged and then leaned against the counter, rubbing his stomach beneath his shirt as he watched Ed cleaning out the fridge.

"Ok..." Ed said, standing up and rubbing his hands. "Now what..." he asked, heading to the couch and turning on the radio, grimacing at the harsh German news that praised Hitler.

Envy followed Edward to the radio and the couch. He sat down slowly on the sofa near the radio, watching as the box spoke strange words. He listened intently on them, not making any comments though.

Ed wasn't listening to it though, he was trying to figure out just why the Gate had done this to him. He hated Envy. the Monster Sin had been his main tormentor in his own world, trying to kill him and even not forgiving him because of his Fathers blood that followed in his veins. He Hated Envy as the sin had killed his father... their Father. They were technically half brothers. They were halfbrothers.

Envy looked up to Edward for a moment, a faint smile trailing his lips as he stared at the other male. He looked back away though and stared at the radio. Ever since Hohenheim's death, Envy felt little hatred towards anyone... Even Edward. Hohenheim's death seemed to sedate him completely.

Ed ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long sigh. He hadn't a clue what to do with his halfbrother after the child was born. Problably kick him out and hope never to see him again, raise the baby on his own. " ... Fuck... I hate the gate."

Envy looked back up to Edward, surprised to hear this come from the other's mouth so suddenly. He looked down to the couch, slowly tracing patterns onto the fabric. "I'm sorry..." He apologized helplessly. Envy knew that Edward was upset with him, not just the Gate... "

"...Dopplegaenger.." he murmured in German, looking at Envy oddly.

"... Beg pardon?" Envy tilted his head, staring at the other male.

" Double Goer in German. This would be so much easer if you still had your shape shifting."

"Oh..." Envy looked down to the couch and then back at Ed once more. "You know... Just because I don't have my ability anymore, doesn't mean I can't disguise myself."

"Oh? " Ed asked, looking at Envy curiously.

Envy rolled his eyes and slid off of the couch. "Alchemists... Always looking for the easy way out..." He shook his head, as if disgraced.

"Hey! What's that mean!" Ed hissed, getting up and following after Envy. "If you can disguise yourself, then its easier to get you out of here."

"Yes, I know... But the way you make it sound as if I'm completely useless now that I'm human..." Envy said as he made his way to Ed's room, beginning to go through the other's clothes. "Hey... Do you have any girls clothes around here?"

"Uhh... only a dress and a pair of pants that you can wear under it.." Ed blinked, and then nodded. "Well excuse me for only ever knowing you as a shapeshifting tormentor!"

Envy turned and stared at him for a moment before a dangerous little smirk played over his lips. "Good... Get that dress and bring it back here. I won't question as to why you have a dress around."

"- was Noas'.. she just left it here after the break up, palmtree." he snapped, fetching the dress and pants and tossing to the sin. Of all the nerve.. thinking that he'd cross-dress. He wasn't the skort wearing one.

"Noa...?" Envy repeated as he caught the clothes. He set them down and began to strip his owns clothes off, tossing them to the ground and slipping the dress on.

"Yea... ill-fated girl that had a crush on me. We broke up last month," he explained simply.

"Oh..." Envy said as he looked down to the dress. "She had a big chest." He stated blankly, searching for something to fill the top half of the dress.

"Y-yea..." Ed blushed, remembering that chest very clearly. "Stuff some shirts down it. I'll lend you a poncho to put over it."

"Right..." Envy said with a nod, beginning to ball up his clothes and push them into the spots, filling it out. He looked back to the mirror, making sure they looked realistic. "Alright... It's fairly easy to pass as a woman..." Envy mumbled, stroking the side of his swollen belly that was now easy to see with the tight dress on.

" mmm... you look good." Ed murrmed, coming up behind Envy and resting his head on the others shoulders, stroking the belly as well. "You're going to play my girlfriend, is that clear?" he asked. He had to make the act look natural, like he was in love with Envy - and his mind was urrkig at the thought.

Envy's face grew bright red and he looked to Edward's hands on his stomach. He blushed as he stared at them and then looked over his shoulder to the boy, surprised to see that their noses were now touching. He blushed even more and then looked away quickly.

"W-Whatever... But I won't like it!" Envy said quickly, though he was lying.

" yea... I'm urking the thought as well.. But still... we have to..." He said, though his pants felt tighter and he pulled away.

"I guess..." Envy mumbled, looking to his fake breasts and then frowning in displeasure. "Honestly... completely useless... I can't see my stomach... Or my feet..."

"There soft and squishy..." he defended them, leering at Envys' fake boobs.

"Still," Envy mumbled, tossing his hair over his shoulder dramatically. "Being soft and squishy doesn't serve a strong enough purpose for them being this big."

"I like them. Live with it." He said with a smirk. "Remember Envy... I don't have to help you at all. I'm doing it as your carrying something that's apart of me."

Envy sighed and crossed his arms over his now very squishy chest. He looked a little bit on the leery side, but said nothing else. "Fine." He responded, looking away once more.

"Shhh..." he could have kicked himself. He didn't need a teary Envy on him again. "But I'm not going to abandon you. That's why I'm taking you with me..."

Abandon. That word struck home. Envy swayed for a moment on his feet, obviously feeling more than just a little on the dizzy side. He pushed his hand into the dresser, balancing himself and nodding. "Yes... Yes... I know you won't..."

Ed wrapped his arms around Envy and slowly pushed him to the bed to sit down. Envy sat down, trembling a little bit as wide eyes went even wider. He pulled his legs up onto the bed as well, shuddering as he laid down on his side. "..."

Ed rubbed Envys' back softly, just looking at him. He did look cute as a girl, and he had a feeling that he might End up raping the sin before this was over. He just prayed not.

Envy stared off at a wall, concentrating on that instead of the hand that was rubbing his back. He curled his legs up closed beneath him, trying to forget everything... Especially Hohenheim.

"Get some sleep... where leaving soon," he said, moving to the living room to take the couch, soon falling asleep and snoring. Envy nodded a little bit and crawled up further on the bed, laying himself down and closing his eyes. He was soon fast asleep, though not snoring.

A little while latter, Ed was up and yawning, he moved to wake Envy up, leaning in the doorway, leering at the boy a bit, a faint smile on his face. The boy looked innocent in his sleep.

Envy had curled himself up into a semi-tight circle while he had been sleeping. His chest was rising and falling with each breath he took in. His cheeks were slightly flushed, revealing that he was indeed human if there was warm blood flowing through him now.

Ed smiled faintly his pants again feeling to tight and it wasn't with Envy looking like a girl. Oh gods, was he having the hots for his half brother? oh gods no...

Envy, who had never really slept all that soundly, could feel another presence in the room. He shot up quickly and yanked a knife from his sleeve, ready to throw it at Ed. He blinked sleepily though and lowered it, staring at the other. "...?"

"Come on... time to leave." he said, looking away to hide his blush. He was **not** having the hots from the sin, not all.

Envy blinked and nodded a little bit, slipping off of the bed and pushing the knife back into his sleeve. The boy slowly stumbled towards the doorway, leaning against Ed with a loud yawn. "Stupid... human... body..."

"You're human now to.." he laughed a bit, helping Envy steady himself as the blond leads them to the living room then picks up the case of clothes - the lighter one, and gives it to Envy, taking the heaver one as his.

Envy took the suitcase in his hand, yawning a final time as he tried desperately to keep himself awake. He sleepily eyed Edward, a lazy smile slowly spreading its way over his lips. "I guess, we're leaving now...?"

"Yep. Come on. The stations just a short walk away, Envia, " he grinned to him, opening the door. Envia, he liked the shound of that name, it had a femimine ring to it. And latter, he could pass it off as a polish name or something like that. and latter on, hed chose Envias middle name. he would have to, if the former sin was going to be passing off as human. "Ladies first,"

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Well, I do hope that you all enjoyed the first installment of this.

Remember, reviews are nice and they are helpful to the writer.

So… feed the writer? Please?


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